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Fredrick Harley Gray

June 12, 1935 - March 18, 2018

Fredrick Harley Gray passed away on March 18, 2018 in his home in Salem, Oregon. He was born on June 12, 1935 in Manila, Philippines. 

During the Japanese occupation of the Philippines in WWII, while Fred’s father, Chester Gray, was away serving with the US Merchant Marines, his mother, Marcella Tibayan Gray, refused to surrender her family. As a result, Fred and four of his siblings hid in the jungles of Mindanao along with their mother from 1942 until the liberation of the Philippines in 1945. 

 Fred joined the United States Army and served several tours in Vietnam. He was awarded the Bronze Star for meritorious achievement in ground operations against hostile forces.  After serving in the army, Fred worked with the satellite and radar systems group at Hughes Aircraft. 

Fred often opened his home to service members, seminarians, and others far from their families. An advocate of community service, he led the efforts in establishing the Greater Salem Filipino American Association and served as the organization's first president. 

Although Fred did not have the opportunity to go to college until his retirement from the army, he was brilliant with electronics and diagnosing any mechanical issue that arose. If you had an issue with your car, he would go to the library and grab books to diagnose the issue and ultimately fix your car.  Fred also had a talent for drawing and art. 

 No matter where they lived, Fred drove cross-country to go home to Oregon in the summers. He frequently stopped at historical and significant landmarks. The family also traveled through parts of Europe in the family station wagon. 

Fred loved to fish on lakes, rivers, and streams and kept tackle boxes and a variety of poles in the back of the wagon. An avid bowler, he was a member of several bowling leagues. Fred placed in the 2011 25th State Games of Oregon and went on to bowl in the 2011 State Games of America. 

Fred is survived by his children, Angela Roarty Condon Jim,Natalie Haar Dale, Mark Gray Jennifer, and Joseph Gray; his grandchildren, Houston Gray, Emily Haar, Gabrielle Roarty, Bridget Gray, and Tristan Gray; his sibling, Lora Homan, Eileen Bacheller Leroy, Tom Gray Cheryl, Jacinto Graciosa Marcia, Vivian Gettis Jerry, Mae Arbogast Cal, Mary Buckley Pat, and Richard Cruz Yollie as well as many cousins, nieces, nephews, and friends too many to mention. 

 Fred was predeceased by his parents, Chester and Marcella Gray; his siblings, Ed and George Gray, and Elizabeth Catapat; and former spouse and friend, Josefina Gray. 

Visitation is from 5:00 to 8:00 pm with recitation of the Holy Rosary at 6:30 pm on Wednesday, April 4th, at Virgil T. Golden Funeral Service. Mass of Christian Burial will be held at 3:30 pm on Thursday, April 5th, at St. Vincent Catholic Church, 1010 Columbia St NE, Salem, OR. Graveside service with full military honors, 9:30 am, Friday, April 6th, at Willamette National Cemetery,  11800 SE Mt. Scott Blvd, Portland, OR 97086.

In lieu of flowers, donations in Fred's name to St. Vincent de Paul Catholic Church will be greatly appreciated. 


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Our deepest sympathy to your family. May God watch over the soul of our good friend Fred. He will be missed by so many people as he touched the lives of all he met. From his distinguised military service to his commnity service through the GSFAA Fred has always been an inspiration to those around him. I personnally loved to hear him speak about his time in the Army and admire the fact that he earned the Bronze Star while serving in Vietnam. Fred told me that he carried a Lord of Pardon booklet while in Vietnam and that credited it and his faith for bringing him home safely. Fred gave me a similar booklet before my marriage and made me promise to carry it with me at all times, so I would always return home safely. We will miss you Fred. God bless you.

Kurt and Shirley Mohs
Salem, Oregon

To our dearest cousin, Kuya Fred,may you now be at peace with our Almighty. We will truly miss you. Your memories you've shared to us here in the Philippines will be kept in our hearts forever We love you Kuya Fred!

Our deepest condolences to the Gray Family on the loss of a beloved brother. The Gavilan Family forever treasures our close friendship with your family and we feel your loss immensely. Our love and prayers to all of you. Steven & Belinda Gavilan Colon and the Gavilan Family of British Columbia.

On behalf of the Notre Dame Alumni Association, International, I am extending my profound condolences to the  Gray Siblings (Eileen, Tom, Lora and others), Fred's nucleus family and friends.  Fred was a member of our association, having graduated from Notre Dame of Lagao (Gen. Santos City Philippines), Class 1953.  I met Fred at our 2nd Biennial Reunion in Las Vegas in 1995.  Since then he attended reunions missing only one or two because he went home to the Philippines for a visit.  One of the indelible marks that Fred has left with our association is his willingness to contribute his wisdom, experience, and resources to ensure the success of the reunions.  He was nominated numerous times for the Presidency position, but he always decline, preferring to do his wonders behind the scenes.  His lasting legacy is his forceful lobbying to start a fund to sponsor our former religious and education mentors to attend our reunions.  In 1995, he (plus siblings and friends) sponsored the founder of one of our Notre Dame Schools in Gen Santos City  to be our guest speaker.  It started the Sponsor-A-Mentor Program (SAMP), a program that is alive and well 23 years later and had sponsored 50 plus former mentors of the religious Orders of the Marist Brothers, Passionist Fathers, Oblates of Mary Immaculate Fathers and Sisters, Dominican Sisters and a few lay teachers.  At the last 13th Biennial reunion in Las Vegas (June 2017), Fred received an award for his dedication to the association.  He lobbied for the 2019 reunion be held in Seattle, Washington (closer to his home in Salem Oregon).  He was so looking forward to Seattle 2019.  He will be sorely missed.  "Goodbye our friend.  May you rest in peace.  We will NOT forget you".  

Our heartfelt condolences to Fred's brother and sisters, his children and grandchildren, to his friends outside of our Notre Dame Alumni Family.  My favorite memory of friend was the first time I met him at our Notre Dame Alumni reunion in Las Vegas, 1995.  He was introduced to me by his classmate and my uncle Gil P. Diaz, NDClass 1953.  For many hours during the reunion at the General Meeting, and other events, I talked to Fred strictly in English.  At the Gala Night, I talked to some friends in Filipino dialect about Fred and unbeknownst to me, he was within ear shot of the conversation.  He came to our table, and said in perfect Filipino inflection, something to the effect,  "Kabalo man ako maghambal Ilonggo!"  (translation - I know how to speak Ilonggo).  I almost fell out of my chair.  It was a good thing, there's nothing negative one can ever say about Fred.  He was generous with his positive advise, his time, his wisdom and his resources.  He regaled the younger generation of Notre Dame alumni with his experiences as a student at our alma mater in 1950s, and his memories of the World War II in the Philippines.  We will truly miss you Fred. 

Prima Guipo Hower and the Guipo Family
Rhode Island & Philippines 

In behalf of the Mendoza family I extend our profound  condolence to all of the Gray family .  Fred will be deeply missed. Such a gentleman, was always fun talking to him, producing good vibes to whoever he was talking to. I still remember during the ND reunion in Florida, 2005, when he regaled us with many tales of his youth spent in  Gen. Santos and Cotabato. I was particularly amused when he said that once there was an accident in Dadiangas where a boy sustained a laceration and my dad, who was a doctor, was called to stitch up the patient.  He needed an assistant however and when he saw Fred, who was there, he said, “ come help me.”  Fred said he never had any medical training, much less suturing somebody, but  he just swallowed hard , helped my dad and the procedure came out well.  I will always remember the Gray family, from seeing the pretty twin sisters walking the streets of Dadiangas every now and then in the early morning during the 50s to talking with Eileen, who was also fun to talk with,  during  ND reunions.  God bless and rest In peace, Fred.  I am looking forward to see you again when my own time comes.

My deepest condolences to the Gray family on the loss of Kuya Fred. I NEVER forget Kuya Fred. He was always presnt, willing to help & lead within our community, and sharing stories from his years of service to God and Country. Kuya Fred had a determined warrior spirit and he never gave up on himself or his community. I'm proud to have known you Kuya Fred and I will miss you! 

Paul Dubrovsky
Salem, Oregon

My belated condolences to you and your family for the loss of your Father, an extraordinary man.

Sincere condolences to the bereaved family of Mr Fred. He was one of  the most generous donor for the SAMP - Sponsor a Mentor Program of Notre Dame of General Santos City Alumni USA/Canada. He always sent a beautiful note along with his donation. You will be terribly missed at the reunions Mr. Fred. " May the choirs of angels come to greet you and bring you to paradise..." May you rest in peace. May God grant your soul eternal life. 

Thank you for being a part of our life Mr. Fred Gray. You will be missed but never forgotten. Rest In Peace dear friend.

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Elena Tingzon Gonzalez President NDGSC AA Int
Tuesday, March 27, 2018 at 10:07 PM

Condolence to Fred Gray ‘s family. From your former bowling partner, Rick.

I was stationed at Ft Gordon, Georgia the same time Fred and his family was stationed there. I was a Military Policeman and i remember driving the MP sedan to his home on the base with the blue lights flashing. The kids were very amused by that. I enjoyed a very nice dinner with Fred and his wife and kids. Fred was a good person. He was always smiling and a pleasure to be around. 

My condolences to Freds family and loved ones. As a child I all ways looked forward to the visits from uncle Fred. He all ways had a big smile and a story for us. He will be missed. I salute you uncle Fred and may you rest in peace with your fellow comrades.

Our heartfelt sympathies to Fred's family...we have fond memories of Fred from many years of bowling.  He always had a smile and such an infectious laugh.  He liked to try his luck in the game room.  We miss him.

Our condolences to the family of Uncle Fred.  

We met Uncle Fred through our very good friend Marie Mchone. My wife and I knew Uncle Fred for the last 18 years. He is known as Lolo Fred to our 3 kids, Camille, Charlize, and Chanelle. I will always remember Uncle Fred as a humble and loving person, one of the few true friend you will ever find in this world. He is a very good listener and a great problem solver, for him no problem is too big to handle. He can always find a simple way of doing things. I always hear him say "Madali lang yan !" (That is easy!),  or "Lekat, ako ang gagawa." (let me do it.).  His wisdom is beyond my years, His willingness to share and help others, are some of the many things I admire about Uncle Fred.  

We all know that Uncle Fred went through heart surgeries. One day I asked him, Are you not afraid of dying during major surgeries?  His response was "God may call you from anywhere at any time, all you can do is be ready for Him."  Uncle Fred taught me a good lesson, he is truly one of a kind.  We will miss our ever dearest Uncle Fred and I know that he is now very happy and very content in the house of our loving Father and our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Angel, Leny,  Camille, Charlize & Chanelle.   

Sincerest condolences to all of Fred's family and friends.  Unfortunately, I never got the chance to know Fred well, and I know that it was my loss.  On the few occasions, I did chat with him it was clear to me that Fred was a man with qualities that all men should seek to emulate.  He was a gentleman and left me with the impression that he made a great impact on many lives.  It is comforting to know that Fred is with our Father and his family who went before him.  

Fred you and Marie have been our good friend in Salem GSFAA and DMOLF Portland. In many ways you assisted Jerry, A fellow Army Vet and Vietnam survivor in directing us around benefit locations. You are so gracious in your example of generous service to community. I learned that one forgets pain when one gives to community. That was precious. Of course your smile and humor will ever be remembered. Jerry is up there with you two years ahead. Just know you two will just keep all laughing with jokes. Please pray for us all. We love and pray got you both.

It has been two months since you entered into a peaceful and eternal rest.  Thought it would be fitting to share a poem I consider a prayer that you would say to us.  I came across this poem today, reading your counsin Darlene's memorial card.  It seems that this is also your message to us of how we should remember you. 
     Picturing your smile, in loving memory (from someone you fondly called Kiddo)
                                  "WHEN I'M GONE"
    When I come to the end of my journey and I travel my last weary mile,
         Just forget if you can, that I ever frowned and only remember the smile.
    Forget unkind words I have spoken; remember some good I have done.
         Forget that I ever had heartache and remember I've had loads of fun.
    Forget that I've stumbled and blundered and sometimes fell by the way.
         Remember I have fought some hard battles and won, ere the close of the day.
    Then forget to grieve for my going, I would not have you sad for a day.
        But in summer just gather some flowers and remember the place where I lay.
    And come in the shade of evening when the sun paints the sky in the west.
        Stand for a few moments beside me and remember only my best.